The Knights Of Trashland

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1) Music by the Trash Land band		 trashland02
2) (*song- “Mother ship” ) Narrator speaks: At the conclusion of the year nineteen hundred and ninety nine, the Y2K bug destroyed all of technology and most of humanity.
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3) Narrator speaks: …from the wreckage and rubble the brave and strong emerged to rebuild society anew. This is the story of their last days…
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4) Camera pans back to reveal “the internet”(when characters say “the internet” they make little quotations with their fingers)
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5) Technicians in “the internet” work at their research and maintenance, they receive a print out and play a game of rock, paper scissors to decide who will deliver it.
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6) The unlucky winning technician scurries through the castle to deliver the print out. This series of shots establishes the junk castle, interior and exterior
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7) The technician delivers the print out to the Big Shrimp who promptly crumples it up and sings. (*song- “King of the Junkyard”)

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8) The castle resides at the edge of a forest, hidden in the forest some cavemen hide…		 trashland09
9) The cavemen are seen disguising themselves as bushes and trees		 trashland10
10) The Cavemen attack the castle; the battle is fierce and bloody.
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11) The Knights of the castle are too powerful for the cavemen and the cavemen retreat having stolen a chicken.
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12) * Animation: Toy cavemen(*song- “ I wanna be a caveman”)
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13) *Music video montage of cavemen doing their thing to the song “ I wanna be a caveman”
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14) (*song- “Robot Dance Party”)
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15) Robots attack the cavemen.
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16) A technician in “the internet” notices some robot activity. He promptly contacts The Big Shrimp.
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17) The Big Shrimp: “One thing I hate more than cavemen are robots!!!”
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18) The knights defend the cavemen from the robots.
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19) Together the knights and cavemen defeat the robots
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20) Having fought together to defeat a common enemy, The Big Shrimp befriends Big Beard, the king of the cavemen
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21) The Big Shrimp uses a can and string to call “the internet”. The technicians in “the internet check their records and files and officially report that in order to join their two great societies the prince of the cavemen should be married to the princess of the castle.
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22) Big Beards son is Prince Fancy Pants who is a “funny” caveman. (*song: “I am Prince Fancy pants I love to sing and dance and prance”)
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23) The Big Shrimp gives Prince Fancy Pants a grand tour of the castle, which includes a tour of “the internet”.
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24) The Big Shrimp informs the princess she will marry the prince of the cavemen. The princess does not want to marry Prince Fancy Pants because she prefers to marry out of true love. Princess: “I wish I was an Amazon!!” The Big Shrimp slaps her cheek and says: “How dare you!!! You have the only flushing toilet in the land!!!”
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25) Princess sings a song. (*song: “Where is my hero”) By way of security cam, Prince Fancy Pants watches her song in “the internet”, with great interest and awe.
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26) We discover that Prince Fancy Pants was not alone in his peeping tom efforts…on his face we see a giant pimple. (*song: “Evil wizards of zit mountain”)
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27) Inside the pimple of Prince Fancy pants lives a wizard…The Evil Wizard of Zit Mountain!
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28) The Evil Wizard of Zit Mountain contacts some witches whom will help him kidnap the Princess in exchange for the magic hair of The Unicorn.
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29) (*song: “Witch song”)
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30) Witches create some Trolls out of a mixture of dough and herbs.
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31) They bathe the dough Trolls in the smoke of the oracle.
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32) (*song: “Troll song”) The Trolls break into the castle and kill all of the witnesses.
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33) Trolls kidnap the Princess of the castle.
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34) The Big Shrimp: “Who would steal our Princess?” All of the men assume that it must be The Amazons. Sir Bob and Big Beard both offer their lives and the lives of their best men and vow to return the Princess.
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35) Our alliance of brave warriors set off on their brave quest. The Big Shrimp, Prince Fancy Pants and the workers stay behind to man the castle. The technicians from “ the internet” give the adventurers a book of maps.
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36) The trail is grueling and our heroes are suffering.
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37) The perilous trek takes it’s toll, and some of our men lose their lives.
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38) When desperately referring to their book of maps the wind blows the pages away.
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39) *The map will be a source of animation throughout our play
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40) Entering the Land of the Amazons
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41) The Amazons are badass warrior women
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42) The Amazons capture some scouts, a caveman and a knight and then collect their seed.
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43) Some men spy on the rape in horror.
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44) After a brave heart standoff the boys and girls engage in the most epic battle.
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45) The epic battle continues…
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46) The men are losing, Amazon #1 says: “Why have you come here to die?” Sir Bob: “We have come to save the princess!!!”. Amazon #1 : “We don’t have your princess!! We wouldn’t want any spoiled girls, we’re warrior women!!!”
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47) (*song: Amazon’s sing “The lesbian song”) The Amazons decide to let the men go and continue their quest to save the princess. Amazon #1: “Maybe you should ask the witches where your princess is, they have a magic oracle that will answer any question.”
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48) The Amazons gave Sir Bob such a beating he should be dead. The men press him for information and he tells them a story about how he was nearly killed by a unicorn when he was a young man. He would be dead if not for his father having acquired some magic nuts from some witches. He is now indestructible with the magical powers of these nuts.
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49) Big Beard says: “Sir Smilee and your men don’t believe your story, but I do. Cavemen have always been superstitious. I too have lucky nuts, but I am not sure my nuts are as lucky as yours.
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50) Here comes the sock puppet monster! It can grab you and bite you!
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51) The sock puppet monster attacks the men; it strangles them and bites them.
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52) Men are dying and fighting the monster, every time the knights chop the creature it grows two more heads…this makes things a lot worse.
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53) The cavemen discover that throwing big rocks at the heads of the sock puppet takes care of the problem.
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54) The men happen across some mermaids. Sir Smilee: “Let’s get their treasure and bring it to The Big Shrimp! He will be so thrilled to have that junk that he’ll forget all about the Princess!” Sir Bob: “We are sworn by oath to return the princess, but I suppose we should get that junk!”
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55) The mermaids are vicious sirens, the men are able to retrieve some treasure but at a great cost.
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56) The men are having trouble in the water and most perish.
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57) Sir Bob is pulled to the bottom and weighed down with a big rock.
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58) All of the men are gone, except Big Beard, Sir Smilee and Long Bone.. Big Beard: “ He’s still down there! Sir Bob has lucky nuts! He is indestructible!”. Sir Smilee: “ Yea, but what are you gonna do! Forget about him!”. Long Bone: “ It is the custom of our people to abandon a losing battle.”
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59) So the three head off
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60) They come across the dead sock puppet monster. Big Beard: “He’s indestructible!!”
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61) Using the sock as a lifeline Big Beard intends to save Bob.
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62) This part will be shot underwater in a pool.
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63) Underwater puppet in aquarium sequence.
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64) Awaking from his dream Sir Bob realizes he is missing his magic nuts.
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65) Sir Bob: “You stole my nuts!!! I’ll kill you!!” Big Beard: “You can’t kill me!” Big Beard swallows the nuts
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66) Our heroes find the witches house. Sir Smilee and Long Bone don’t want to ask the witches where the princess is.
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67) Big Beard and Sir Bob go to ask the witches where the princess is.
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68) The witches are at their oracle
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69) Sir Bob and Big Beard suddenly lose their armor and weapons. Witches: “We will tell you where the princess is if you bring us the horn of the Unicorn.”
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70) Our heroes find the unicorn. Sir Smilee thinks that unicorns are stupid
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71) The Unicorn kills Sir Smilee and Long Bone.
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72) Big Beard gives Sir Bob a boost onto the unicorn and the unicorn kills Big Beard.
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73) Big Beard is not dead.
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74) Big Beard throws Sir Bob the sword
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75) Sir Bob cuts off the head of the unicorn
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76) Sir Bob removes the unicorn horn
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77) Witches: “ This we know well, the castle hosts the prince, the prince hosts a pimple, the pimple hosts an evil wizard. That Evil Wizard has your princess and he has built a dragon that will destroy the castle.”
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78) Big Beard steals a bag of magic nuts; Sir Bob breaks the oracle with the unicorn horn.
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79) (*song- “Evil Wizard of Zit Mountain”) The Evil Wizard has enslaved Prince Fancy Pants. Prince Fancy Pants has been making print outs for the workers in the castle, who have unknowingly been constructing a dragon.
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80) The dragon breaks out of the castle and kills people.
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81) Bog Beard and Sir Bob use their bag of magic nuts to bring their dead comrades back to life.
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82) A zombie army. (*song- “We’re already dead”)
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83) (*song- “Tastes Like Chicken”) The zombie army fights the dragon and kills the wizard.
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84) The wedding. Prince Fancy Pants: “I just love a happy ending!”
THE END.